Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mama's Boy

This is a title that I am sure everyone has heard of at some point, whether it refers to you yourself, a brother, a son, or just someone you know. I find it very interesting because my husband has been calling Oliver a 'mama's boy' for quite some time, and he is only a baby (under 7 months old!). I think there are definitely some societal influences when it comes to people dealing with baby boys versus baby girls. Oliver, although mostly a happy baby, crys more than Gwen did, and is really the happiest when he is being held and walked around. I think part of the reason is because he is more active than Gwen was (baby boys, I have heard, are often more active than baby girls), and likes to be on the move. Since he can't really get around on his own yet, he relies on adults to keep him interested. Honestly, I don't think there is anything really wrong with that, but my husband and father both call him a 'wussy boy' when he crys, and my husband doesn't want to cater to him by carrying him around. The funny thing is, he didn't mind carrying Gwen around (although to be fair, it is easier to carry a baby around when you only have one). So in comes the term mama's boy. Oliver is definitely more attached to me than Gwen was at this age. He generally turns to me for comfort when he's upset, and wants me to be around. I think men turn baby boys into the so called 'mama's boy' simply because they think baby boys should be tougher than baby girls and so don't comfort them in the same ways. So to me, it is a no brainer that these baby boys turn to their mothers for comfort! I think it is unreasonable to put these kind of stereotypes on babies, but how do you convince people to be different when these societal views are so ingrained in them?

2 comments:

Simone said...

Oh that would make me so mad. Heck, it did make me mad.

He's a baby, of course he cries sometimes and wants to be held. Um. isn't that what girl babies and boy babies do? Isn't that normal and a sign of a healthy attachment? Sounds like it. Even I can see that and I don't have any kids.

He's not a wussy or a mama's boy, he's a baby. An Oliver.

Honestly? I would tell them off if I were you. Give them hell from me, ok?

Anonymous said...

ahh yes

true enough ALL babies need love attention and mamma but boys are needier
brought on by society- partially true i suppose
women are nurturers , we mind the household, take care of virtually everything but ourselves and ask for little in return
we are tough mentally and therefore physically and everyone knows it so we don't bother with making our needs known much, our pains and aches known etc...
it is how it is how it was and always will be... boys are whiny and thrive on a woman's attention- that is how it has been and always has been and always will be and hence, boys are needier
flying home on the plane this weekend the pressure was unbearable even for my ears and i never have had an issue

soren was crying and eryn, i knew was in pain but she simply got into the nursing position ( yes she is nearly 2 and i am STILL nursing her) another topic...
and waited for some comfort... not another word from her
we don't discourage crying or emotion in our home or expect our boy to be tough
quite the opposite
he was carried around constantly and coddled less than eryn- pure circumstance firts vs second child not boy vs girl
eryn wants to do evryhting herself while soren still prefers to lay back and let me do for him, whatever he can get out of me
eryn came out rip roaring , stretched out mad and loud while soren, a week overdue, came out crunched in the fetal position, whimpering
she does whatever soren does and if she can't .. make sit look like she can, had her first tantrum well before a year old and has an answer for everything even if she has no vocabulary for the explanation

anyways, i like to think that my boy is a mamas
boy so i always will have a baby
boys love their moms forever! so enjoy it and keep hugging, carrying and coddling him
Gwen and you can visit the spa together an make up for it